lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
