Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
