it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
