haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
