i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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