Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
