Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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