her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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