I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
