I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
