She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
