I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
