This girl is more easily done than said...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
