Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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