At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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