Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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