i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
