I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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