i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
