I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
