just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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