Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
