fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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