i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
