First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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