so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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