I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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