my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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