Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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