I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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