this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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