You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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