just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
