After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
birth control should be required to get into college
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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