I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
