how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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