letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
