Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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