More tranny stories later!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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