Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
