Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
