I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
