dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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