i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
