he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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