My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
