Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
