Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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