DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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