Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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